Jeremy Gilbert (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
battlelined) wrote2016-07-06 08:16 pm
battlelined) wrote2016-07-06 08:16 pm
[fic]
Jeremy knew it was going to happen.
Somewhere deep down, he has been afraid of it since Stefan returned from Mystic Falls different, since Stefan sold himself over in Sam's place. It's why he met with Stefan when he found out. It's why he tried to talk to him and tried to find another way and tried to work with him and tried to stop it all without killing anybody. He tried to find something, anything else. He talked it out with a hopeless vampire who had resigned himself to the inevitable but promised to give Jeremy a list of the people he was supposed to attack.
Like that was going to save anyone.
It didn't.
One person died. He lost count of how many people were attacked in the middle of the night, during the day. They had nowhere to hide. He is a Hunter now, and part of him could sense that fear down every single fucking hallway.
People holding their breaths. People being tense.
Every moment of fear, every person hurt, they were hurt because of Stefan, and the longer they went without being able to find him, the more people would be hurt. There was a choice.
And Jeremy gathered the people together. He found whoever he could who wanted to help, and they made a plan which included using someone as bait to get Stefan in the right position. They worked together in a coordinated effort, and they were able to capture him and put him in jail and starve him in hopes of getting through to him, in hopes he would be too weak to- to escape.
Jeremy made the mistake of feeling relief like maybe the choice had been made for him, and he wouldn't have to shove a stake into someone his sister loves, maybe he wouldn't have to be the cause of more loss for her, maybe he wouldn't have to kill someone that- that had meaning to him too.
All this time in Teleios, he has had to fight the urge to fight people that he loves. It's a violent, terrible urge, telling him to kill. First, it was at Jenna, and he never spent the time with her that he would have if he hadn't had to battle those urges, those desires to kill. Then it was at Elena, and he was so wholly unused to those feelings towards her and they came so swiftly after he had seen her- he had seen her dead.
Then she has to leave, and he's here by himself with a choice which he feels- hopes has been taken from him. They'll ride it out. Free Stefan from Set, and he will not have to die. Jeremy will not have to kill him, but of course, life isn't that simple. Of course, life isn't that fucking kind ever. Of course, Set isn't going to let his pawn be taken out of the game, and through the impossible. he's freed.
He's freed.
And Jeremy's following a goddamn trail of blood and screams. Every fiber in his being is telling him to kill the vampire. Kill the vampire except the parts of him that are him, that are Jeremy
that knows what Stefan means to Elena
that remembers-
It doesn't matter. For all his memory, for everything that happened before, it's still a choice, and the victim is screaming. Stefan's teeth are in their neck, and he rushes forward, trying to pull him free but his teeth are in too deep. The very act of trying to pull him off is- It's making her scream more.
Do you remember your sister crying? Do you remember your sister smiling at Stefan? Because no one is only a vampire, only a monster, only a Hunter, it's always everything tangled up all at once.
Do you remember, Jeremy?
Do you remember what it is like to be a fucking victim? No one could save you. Sure as hell not yourself, despite how hard you fought and you always fight so fucking hard even when you don't go anywhere- don't get anywhere. Even when you still end up neck broken, beaten, rewritten and remade, crawling out of the ashes with pieces missing. How long until you're not human at all anymore? One of those times when you crawl out, too much of yourself has to get burnt up.
You can smell blood now too just like vampire, and you smell the blood Stefan spills from his victim like he'll tear her head off. You tasted blood on your mouth when you came back to life the second time. It's everywhere. It's everywhere, and it's not going to stop.
Elena isn't here. Sarah isn't here. Graham isn't here. Emma isn't here
In the end, it's you and Stefan and a stake and a victim. In the end, it's your choice for all you have been fighting the urges (and the weeks of victims and the dead, head rolling off their body)
"I'm sorry."
His voice is low, ached, drawn out like clay, hardened in endless heat until it's brittle like he is.
Do you remember
He takes the stake in hand, winding an arm around Stefan, before he can react, before he can kill, just as he starts to turn on Jeremy instead with fangs out and the darkness in his eyes.
Jeremy doesn't flinch. He doesn't back away. He is no longer afraid as he meets his gaze. These muscles have been honed to kill (it's instinct now), but it's Jeremy that doesn't look away.
Jeremy knows where the heart is, and he dives the wood sharply into it. Stefan grows still, limp. Jeremy shoves it and him to the ground, staring at the corpse, at the body, at someone who is no longer there.
Do you remember standing over graves (and Vicki, Anna, Martha, Wes, Elena) knowing they were all empty, dark, hollow husks
how terrible, how cruel, how goddamn fucked up
that one single moment could snuff out someone's light.
never would you have imagined how good you could become at bringing darkness and taking out the light
Somewhere deep down, he has been afraid of it since Stefan returned from Mystic Falls different, since Stefan sold himself over in Sam's place. It's why he met with Stefan when he found out. It's why he tried to talk to him and tried to find another way and tried to work with him and tried to stop it all without killing anybody. He tried to find something, anything else. He talked it out with a hopeless vampire who had resigned himself to the inevitable but promised to give Jeremy a list of the people he was supposed to attack.
Like that was going to save anyone.
It didn't.
One person died. He lost count of how many people were attacked in the middle of the night, during the day. They had nowhere to hide. He is a Hunter now, and part of him could sense that fear down every single fucking hallway.
People holding their breaths. People being tense.
Every moment of fear, every person hurt, they were hurt because of Stefan, and the longer they went without being able to find him, the more people would be hurt. There was a choice.
And Jeremy gathered the people together. He found whoever he could who wanted to help, and they made a plan which included using someone as bait to get Stefan in the right position. They worked together in a coordinated effort, and they were able to capture him and put him in jail and starve him in hopes of getting through to him, in hopes he would be too weak to- to escape.
Jeremy made the mistake of feeling relief like maybe the choice had been made for him, and he wouldn't have to shove a stake into someone his sister loves, maybe he wouldn't have to be the cause of more loss for her, maybe he wouldn't have to kill someone that- that had meaning to him too.
All this time in Teleios, he has had to fight the urge to fight people that he loves. It's a violent, terrible urge, telling him to kill. First, it was at Jenna, and he never spent the time with her that he would have if he hadn't had to battle those urges, those desires to kill. Then it was at Elena, and he was so wholly unused to those feelings towards her and they came so swiftly after he had seen her- he had seen her dead.
Then she has to leave, and he's here by himself with a choice which he feels- hopes has been taken from him. They'll ride it out. Free Stefan from Set, and he will not have to die. Jeremy will not have to kill him, but of course, life isn't that simple. Of course, life isn't that fucking kind ever. Of course, Set isn't going to let his pawn be taken out of the game, and through the impossible. he's freed.
He's freed.
And Jeremy's following a goddamn trail of blood and screams. Every fiber in his being is telling him to kill the vampire. Kill the vampire except the parts of him that are him, that are Jeremy
that knows what Stefan means to Elena
that remembers-
It doesn't matter. For all his memory, for everything that happened before, it's still a choice, and the victim is screaming. Stefan's teeth are in their neck, and he rushes forward, trying to pull him free but his teeth are in too deep. The very act of trying to pull him off is- It's making her scream more.
Do you remember your sister crying? Do you remember your sister smiling at Stefan? Because no one is only a vampire, only a monster, only a Hunter, it's always everything tangled up all at once.
Do you remember, Jeremy?
Do you remember what it is like to be a fucking victim? No one could save you. Sure as hell not yourself, despite how hard you fought and you always fight so fucking hard even when you don't go anywhere- don't get anywhere. Even when you still end up neck broken, beaten, rewritten and remade, crawling out of the ashes with pieces missing. How long until you're not human at all anymore? One of those times when you crawl out, too much of yourself has to get burnt up.
You can smell blood now too just like vampire, and you smell the blood Stefan spills from his victim like he'll tear her head off. You tasted blood on your mouth when you came back to life the second time. It's everywhere. It's everywhere, and it's not going to stop.
Elena isn't here. Sarah isn't here. Graham isn't here. Emma isn't here
In the end, it's you and Stefan and a stake and a victim. In the end, it's your choice for all you have been fighting the urges (and the weeks of victims and the dead, head rolling off their body)
"I'm sorry."
His voice is low, ached, drawn out like clay, hardened in endless heat until it's brittle like he is.
Do you remember
He takes the stake in hand, winding an arm around Stefan, before he can react, before he can kill, just as he starts to turn on Jeremy instead with fangs out and the darkness in his eyes.
Jeremy doesn't flinch. He doesn't back away. He is no longer afraid as he meets his gaze. These muscles have been honed to kill (it's instinct now), but it's Jeremy that doesn't look away.
Jeremy knows where the heart is, and he dives the wood sharply into it. Stefan grows still, limp. Jeremy shoves it and him to the ground, staring at the corpse, at the body, at someone who is no longer there.
Do you remember standing over graves (and Vicki, Anna, Martha, Wes, Elena) knowing they were all empty, dark, hollow husks
how terrible, how cruel, how goddamn fucked up
that one single moment could snuff out someone's light.
never would you have imagined how good you could become at bringing darkness and taking out the light